What's Love?

after falling in and out of relationships, one would think i would know thoroughly what love really is. i'm not talking about platonic love, not talking about love between family members. i'm talking about the feeling that you get whenever you're with that special someone, and all you want to do is hold and hug him/her to bits. i'm talking about the feeling where you look at that someone and you know you'd die for them.

so what exactly is love? it makes us do irrational things. after all, what rational person would want to fall in love? don't get what i mean? let me explain. love makes people do things they don't or won't normally do for themselves or anyone for the matter.

love makes people change who they are to become more desirable to the one they love. love makes you want to break down in tears when that someone you love hurts you. it makes you forgive them nearly the next instance too. love makes you lose all sense of dignity and honour around that person. it makes you want to understand that person. love makes you blind to their faults, though many or few.

love scars you and makes you bitter when it leaves you in a broken manner. love makes you feel broken and incomplete without that special someone holding you or being close by your side. love makes you feel insecure, afraid of losing that person when someone attractive comes along. love makes you irrational. love consumes you, leaving little time and energy for anything other than loving that someone. love possesses your mind, leaving you thinking, pining and dreaming of that someone whenever you're alone.

love leaves you in a mess when that he/she doesn't answer the phone or reply your messages, even if it's because he/she forgot to charge their phone or left upstairs when they're at home. love makes you unbelievably happy and irrationally on cloud 9 when they finally reply you. love makes you worry half to death when your loved one is upset. love makes you wait up to ungodly hours to makes sure they get home safe and sound. love makes you feel guilty when you don't.

love makes you fight to keep that someone near you, despite how much hurt that person has caused you. love makes you stay up late late at night to finish the last touch to the gift you'll give him/her. love makes you tired the next morning with puffy eyes and a pounding headache. love makes you hurt them, and at the same time, hurt yourself even more, if for their own good.

why would anyone want to love? you're being reduced to a heap of blubbering mess when it all falls apart. you disregard yourself and place your loved one before anything in the world. you want to make sure that your loved one is safe and sound where no hurt can come to him/her. you just want them to be happy, even if it isn't with you.

but then again...

love makes you smile at the mere thought that he/she loves you back. love makes you float on the clouds and fills your heart with gladness at every little acknowledgement that you hear from his/her lips. love fills you so full of joy, even if it's for a while, when he/she looks back at you with a smile on his/her face. love makes it all worth it. that sigh of relief and the insane feeling of calm when you know that the one you love is happy and safe is worth all the sleepless hours, all the puffy eyes in the world!

love isn't all about the passion. passion is a by product. love isn't about lust, lust is human nature. love isn't about control, love is free... love trusts... love gives and gives and gives, completely satisfied without recieving, but who wouldn't like recieving. love is compromise. love is eternal.

love can change, fade and ebb away. but like a radioactive component with an extremely long half life, it never goes away. it'll always be there, a reminder for your heart. so what is love? love is a mystery... and i'm happy not really knowing what it is. i'll get to discover it more, everyday, bit by bit. and i'll be happy, because i've loved and been loved.