University Ecology Trip to Kuala Selangor

just got back yesterday from a 3 days 2 night trip to Kuala Selangor for my ecology trip... it was great! really! minus the leech bite and getting all stuck in the mud. basically, we left at around 5.30 pm and arrived at Kuala Selangor at around 7.30... reason for the late arrival? a freaking crazy jam! so anyhoo... that's where the fun begins.

on arrival, we put away out things and then went to have the dinner provided by the uni. not bad... but i can't really remember what we ate la. after that, it was a rush off to view the fireflies. myself anf hui ru latched ourselves to KY our, senior and made him take us on his boat. dr cathy joined us in the boat we took and off we floated up the river.

for those that have never been there, the fireflies are beautiful. it's the most romantic thing to view! really! and the sad thing is i was sitting next to KY instead of my dear dear... :S but anyhow, it was nice. me and KY went on a hyper happiness when we stopped to take pictures of the firefly-filled tree... it was like this nature-produced christmass tree. it was really so nice! :) i managed to take a couple of pictures... but then the images were not very clear, i didn't have enough exposure so the picture only managed to catch maybe 2 - 6 flies flashing :S

the next day, we woke up early, me and hui ru, to follow KY to see otters in the lake.. (i christened in Otter Lake, but it's really someother name... :P) so anyhow, we departed the camp site at about 7-8.30 and walked through the forest to the lake... it was beautiful. if i learn how to upload the pics into this site, i will. but i think i'll most likely upload it into my multiply site. anyhoo, we managed to reach there, but the otters knew we were there and dived into the water. it really was a beautiful view at the lake, even though we didn't get to see the otters.

after the otters, we followed the rest of the group to the mangroves.. trudging through the mangroves in big rubber boots is soooo not fun. the mangroves literally swallows your boots if you stand in one place for too long. i got stuck twice, but many were falling over and getting sucked in more than that.

though it was straineous, the experience was beautiful. we got to see the cutest little crabs, though they didn't stay long enough for me to snap a picture of them :S anyhow, just as i was exiting the mangroves, i got the final stuck in the mud! gaaaah! lost my boot, then my socks :S not fun... trust me... hahah! but it was irritating to be like 5 steps away from the exit then getting stuck :P

the afternoon was the trip to the secondary forest. also alot of nice flowers and plants. i preferred that walk due to the nice nice scenary :P anyhoo, all the pics i haven't uploaded yet. the only thing i have been doing is sleep to restore the energy i lost.

in the evening however, i went up the hill with hui ru to see the sunset... the view up there was breath-taking. basically, there was a lighthouse, a troop of maniacal monkeys with the most adorable babies, and tourists left right and center. the monkeys there were mostly tame and actually used to people so it makes them not afraid of us... again, a lot of beautiful scenary snaps were taken...

the last day was a trip to Gombak forest. now that was where the leeches decided to attack me! more than one climbed onboard my shoes, one managed to latch on and suck :S so anyhoo, the leech was yanked off by a nice friend. and the bite bled for quite a while :S again, the view was beautiful... sigh! nature is wonderful, but so easily destroyed... i think the only thing i didn't like about the trip was the leeches. and i fact that the toilet was... let's not go there :|

Classes Day in Day Out

gosh... i have never felt so exhausted in my entire time in uni. i feel mentally exhausted. i have been sleeping well, and actually absorbing stuff in class, but the thing is, by the end of the day, i'm just sooo tired. as i type, i'm taking a break from reading the new notes my instrumental lecturer added yesterday...

thinking about the field trip this weekend is another head ache. i'm just wondering what am i going to do if the area i'm in has no digi coverage?! i could bring my maxis number but that would mean i have to spend money to buy credit. and as of now, i really should stop my spending... sigh! i'll be broke by the end of the week!

uni life is taking a toll on everyone i know... we have been lazing around all holiday and when we're thrown back into this speeding world of assignments and reports, it suddenly feels so hard to keep up! even finding time to study can be a headache. lately, i've been going to bed with throbing headaches... totally makes me wish i could just fall asleep as soon as i rest my head on my pillow! hahah! ah well, back to work then... ta for now!

Sick Sick Sick Bastards...

in this world, there are sick sick sick bastards... i can't even say... i'll just let you go to the link and agree with me

Hot Sun... Storm.... Hot Sun... Storm... (Wtf?!...)

the above comment is to indicate the insane weather lately. it has been this insane cycle of incredibly hot sun then a crazy torrent of rain, followed by a heavy storm. it's so insane!!! really. as i type this, it's raining like fuck. heheh!

the only good thing about these storms is that once it's over, it'll be pretty cooling :). oh, i think i may be going to have to loan my beloved cheongsam to a friend. i hope it'll turn out fine... i really love that cheongsam...

sigh... i feel so dead...

What a Killer Storm!!!! WoooooooHooooo!!!!!

wow! yesterday's storm was just wow! i have lost count of how many tress have fallen due to the rain! aside from that. my apartment was totally flooded!!! my room, luckily, was nice and dry, i happened to be in my room mer. anyways, the wind and rain was pretty bad. the old tree outside my window lost two branches, the tree next to it lost a couple too. one of the branches fell on a staff car and then, you can imagine the nice scartches and dents that would be apparent after that!

anyhow, the park opposite my hostel also suffered pretty badily. a tree was uprooted in a sense... though my dear dear insists that the tree just fell cos it was pulled out of the ground... this morning , i walked by, i could see the roots shown in the air!

all around sunway, the signs of a bad storm is evident. fallen trees, broken branches, leaves on the road, newspaper and rubbish strewn all over the place. i was lucky to be in my room. my study notes would have been thrown all over the place by the wind had i not been. not to mention my room mate's notes would have gone out the window too... or maybe, when we got back, it may have ended up as paper mache!

i have a fascination for the power of mother nature (for all you self-righteous christians claiming that my reference to mother nature means i worship the earth... Screw yourself... you guys should fucking read more to realise that it's a manner of speech, as the word "Fuck" is). imagine, a wind so strong it lifted trees out of their stable anchor into the ground in a short 30 minute storm. i was awed... and here we are, making use of the resources we have been so generously given, to destroy the beautiful planet we live in.

which brings me to yet another thing. i have absolutely no idea why some people seem to think that genetic engineering is "evil". look, let me tell you this. it isn't the doctors that are saving you bloody ignorant bastards! it's us biotechies that have to find some stupid antibiotic or some kinda of medicine for your countless pathogen problems. for goodness sakes! eat well, sleep well, life well, and you won't need our damn medications, and we won't have to think of smart ways to blast your little germs to oblivion...

Ganbate Sem 1 2006!!!! Here Weeeeeee Goooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Oh gosh man! feeling like a fucking nerd. i'm actually reading my notes everywhere i go now! bloody hell... if i don't fucking score a disctinction... i really dunno what to do or say lo. uni life was never easy but then... sigh! doing all this studying is tiring. i find myself getting exhausted though all i do is climb stairs to my apartment, go to classes, eat, sleep, debate with the engineers about retarded topics and struggle to make sure i won't be as lazy as last semester. so far i'm staying true to my schedule. requiring a helluvalot of discipline la...

so far, to date, i think i've been studying quite well... i think la. at least i'm remembering things i studied in the lecture theaters. planning to sleep properly so i can stay awake in the lectures... not that i dare sleep liao la... just that i get rather tired... and the brain can't absorb much in that state.

today, for genetics, we learnt of a genetic disease, it's called Tay-Sachs and basically, what it is, is just one missing letter in our DNA structure. this missing letter, is crucial in the coding of a enzyme. the lesson didn't go into detail about what this missing letter was, but the effects of one missing letter was lethal.

basically what happens is that the baby that is born with this disease is doomed from the moment he/ she opens their eyes to the world. this letter missing in their HEXA gene is crucial in producing an enzyme required in the breaking down of the fat in the developing brain of a baby. without this enzyme, as the baby grows, there is no room for the brain to grow, thus damaging all learning processes. most children born with this condition do not live past 5.

watching the anguish of the parents for this child made me want to cry. i was biting back every single tear with every fibre in my body. one reason, i was imagining if my child was in that condition. the baby shown had deteriorated from a happy laughing bubbly baby boy to a vegetable. he couldn't even smile or laugh. can you imagine your son in that condition? and the worst thing is that both the parents were carriers, making it very possible that their next child be another victim. for a mother, it is the worst thing. to have your child die due to a faulty gene in your DNA make up(if she decides it's her fault la).

to explain the severity of the disease, lets just say that your child, a happy baby slowly deteriorates. he used to be able to crawl, sit up and poke the bubbles you blew in his face. suddenly, one by one, he can't. he can't even smile anymore. then one day, he starts having seizures, then he grows blind by age 2. along the way, he can't suck on his milk bottle anymore and doesn't know how to swallow, then by 3, he's deaf. and deep inside, you know he's doomed to die by 5 years...

any woman out there would rather have no children than have their child subjected to this. really. that's why i recommend a full blood DNA check up before marriage. both you and your fiance. this disease, as with many others, are only capable of affecting your offspring in pairs as they are repressive. both you and your partner would have to be carriers of this faulty gene.

according to most scientists, the disease, thank God, isn't common in asians but more of those with Ashkenazi (eastern and central European) Jewish background and Amish people. even so, it's a mutation, and seriously, shit happens. i sure as hell am going to test my DNA before having babies. i don't want my child to be hit by some shitty disease that i learnt of while doing my degree... and i was ignorant enough to be hypocritical to whatever i would recommend to others.

oh, btw, the poor baby that was made the case study has passed on. Rest his soul, at least he'll be laughing and happy again in heaven. if ever you find out that you have family with jewish ancestory, though slim (i'm talking about M'sians generally), do do do ask them to check themselves up. even as an asian, we also have quite a few genetic diseases i'm sure. it's better to be safe than sorry.

ps.... symptoms that your baby may suffer from this disease is that he/she would be extremely jumpy and responds drastically to surprises. for more info, use... the internet!!! muahahah! :P

Petrol Prices... Up Up and Away!!!! (but our morale going down baby)

i know i've already blogged for today but then something in me needs to be let out. sigh! you see, petrol prices went up early last week if i remember right. my parents each drive a car and my mum's 4x4 uses diesel. diesel is cheaper but then that's not what i'm talking about now. what i'm going to share is what happened this morning, and how it affected a decision i made just an hour ago.

you see, my mum needs to pump gas every week due to fetching my brothers up and down everyday. so today, after church, we went to a shell station along the highway to pump some gas. shell staff are given a car, a petrol card that entitles the holder to 5% discount off the total price. now, what happened is dad was moody today and when he went to pay for the gas through the card, the sales girl told him that people cannot pump "full" tank this way, but state an amount. dad blew up and stormed out of the petrol convinient store, embaressing my mother and brother who were waiting in line to buy bread.

after that, dad made a short trip to another kiosk near damansara. he went in and bought RM50. this time, the kiosk didn't accept the shell card so no discount. mum wasn't amused. though we could have saved a mere RM2.50, mum has been saving every penny. my brother was planning to go NZ to do his engineering. aside from that, money is hard to get nowadays. she and dad were quarrelling all the way home. as usual, we kids would be quiet as mice to let mum blow of some steam.

ok. now onto now. just now, i walked out of the shower, dressed and good to go back to the hostel when mum suddenly says that i'll be sent back tomorrow. saving petrol apparently. dad takes a similar route. the catch is my class is at 8am. and this is majorly inconvinient for me. other than that, my dear dear planned to see me tonight and i had to cancel it due to this. sigh. trying to bargain my way into getting them to send me home would result in a huge fight so i backed out. sigh.

i know nick's upset about this and would be rather moody, knowing him la. but then i guess the one that is to blame is me. i shouldn't have told him that i'll see him tonight. to top it off, i won't be spending nearly 24/7 with him this week as i'll be spending most of my time in the hostel to make sure i have time to go to his race with him... i think i'll call him after this to apologise... stupid petrol prices...

So Hot... But Must Continue to GANBATE!!!!!

So warm la lately. today went to church, the temperature was at a blazing 37 degrees. shiiiiattes.... anyhooo... there was this article in the church bulletine that made me want to laugh. "Colours and Their Meanings".

as far as i know, God made all the colours in the world. why the heck would colours suddenly have meanings? today's featured colour was black... can you guess what they wrote? i wanted to take the author by the neck and point out to him that priests wear black cassocks, nuns have black habits, most people in the world have black hair! and there the author goes talking about how the colour black is evil and all that crap. sigh! leading poor innocent believers into thinking they have to burn all their black clothes (my parents included... sigh!).

today, i'll be debating on the insanity of these people and their stupid interpretations of colour... black... it's not an evil colour depicting the devil. it's a nice colour, showing the yin and yang of life... i have never believed that colours represent any evil at all. in the colour spectrum, there's such a wide spread! so are these people trying to tell me that for every wavelength of light there is, it has a meaning? if so, good luck in making up the meanings.

ok, i'll put this to you. the colour white. in some cultures, it symbolises purity, innocence, cleanliness and the good stuff. in others, it's a colour worn during periods of mourning. for example, chinese would kill you if you wore a white wedding cheongsam to your tea ceremony. in the ang moh's context, a bride in white is a picture of perfection.

red... this colour, for chinese, is a wonderful colour. worn during CNY, weddings, births, any celebration! but then the ang moh's think otherwise. you see, red, to the ang mohs, may mean a variety of things. for some, rage, others, sensuality, war. mars is red, and the greeks regarded him as the God of War... so, which should we believe?

black is indiscrete. it blends in beautifully with everything. the europeans were fascinated with our ebony hair, dark dark eyes... in that way, are we evil? the africans were thought to be lower than whites, why? because their skin was black? see! this is all due to the point of view of others. black was a scary colour once upon a time! imagine a place where the dark was full of the unknown? i don't blame our ancestors to be wary of the colour, but i doesn't give any reason for shunning it!

black is just a colour... it holds no meanings to me. it's the people wearing the colour that make it something. just as some consider red and black to be sexy, it's all the individuals wearing the colour that makes it mean something...

Guilt Ridden, Heart Broken, Mentally Crushed

has anyone felt like they let down the world? well, let me just say this la it is not a pleasant feeling. i have yet again, failed myself, my parents and those that believe in me. i have failed yet again 2 subjects. honestly, i think i must be crazy. i have no one to blame but myself. sitting here, analysing myself, at 1am, without my contacts on, eyes burning. sigh. can't sleep you see...

as of now, i have listed down the reasons why i didn't do well. i was supposed to pass, theoretically, i did, but then cos i failed the finals, i failed the papers. sucks, but that's how it goes. i've done my thinking, my soul searching. i know my dear is prolly worried about me. but as of now, i'm vowing to myself that i won't let my parents down anymore.

mum told me a few things that have made me like my title says, guilt ridden, heart broken and mentally crushed. she's not pressuring me, don't get me wrong. it's just that i have neglected my responsibility as a good daughter for so long that i feel so bad. all my parents wanted out of me is to do well in life. and so far, all i've done is fail their expectations. i have been over-confident and ignorant to my capabilities, to how far i can stretch myself. i really needed to analyse myself.

i listed the things i needed to change about myself. nick told me it's time i grew up a little more. i think i know what he means. all my life, i have tried to stay behind in the rat race, be like how i was when i was still in high school, care free, ignorantly happy. life can'tbe that way sadly. i have all the chances given to me yet each time, like a fool, i waste them.

as of now, i'm still thinking of how to tell my parents that i have let them down again. i can't bear to see their faces. i know it would please them to see me eager to change my ways, but i know they'll ask finally. and till then, i plan to let them be as relaxed as possible. i have good parents that love me to bits, a supportive family, loving boyfriend and friends. imagine, my friends flocked to me on hearing my grades, my boyfriend rushed to my side too. have i been falling back on their comfort so much i have turned ignorant to my responsibilities?

planning out my study time, i noticed that if i really really pay attention, and really stick to my new timetable that i set for myself, i would have no problem finding time for my social life. the thing now is to stick to my new regime. i really have to psych myself up to stick to it. there is only so much my friends can do to help me. the rest is up to me. all this is keeping me up. thinking thinking thinking. i feel so useless suddenly that i haven't bought my other reference books and haven't begun my revision. this really is a slap in the face. like the many times i have been slapped in the face mentally by my failures in life.

sigh... i'll leave this at this.. and mull and think again exactly how to tell my poor parents... i should burn in hell for hurting them this way... i better make it up to them... i HAVE to!