This is a Post to Clarify Things…

For those that read my blog, I’m sure that you may have varying reactions to my posts. Just to clarify things a bit

· I do not have relationship problems

• Nick is not seeing anyone other than me
• I was just feeling down because I couldn’t go out with them
  
• I was jealous in general with the whole group being able to spend time with him
• I’m not jealous of his car, or any of his mechanical obsession. It would be weird if he focused all his obsessions on me.

Really, do I sound bitter and angry with my boyfriend? I didn’t mean for it to seem that way. Anyhow, the girl, S is really nice. I’ve met her before. Secondly, I was having a bad day yesterday. I had to make it worse by watching some chick flick where I had plenty of time to dwell on the “Aw! How sweet!” moments.

So, yeah, I’m a weird moody (mardy) creature that can be happy and grumpy in a blink of an eye. I have a stupid mind that thinks too much when I’m left alone without anything to stimulate it. So don’t get any wrong ideas. I draw the line when it comes to blogging about my relationship. I will never bad mouth my boyfriend online… it’s low. And I would definitely not blab about any problems we have on my blog. It’s personal stuff that we will settle on our own.

Thanks

Jealous Little Me (Part 2)

I’m being silly again. I’m jealous. Terribly jealous of all the people that get to hang out with my boyfriend. I really feel stupid. Lately, he’s been spending loads of time this girl, S, who’s his friend’s uni mate. Nothing’s going on between them, as far as I know. I also know that there most likely would not ba anything happening as his friend has a thing for S.

I just don’t like knowing that another girl is in such close proximity with him. I hate knowing that I’m not the one sitting next to him in a jam packed car. It’s stupid, I know, but everyone has their bad days, and today maybe one of them for me. I'm just feeling all mardy... It's highly irritating cos i know in my heart that he's not the type to do the cheating thing. and further more, it's frustrating for me to even think this way!!! argh! i'll just try not to dwell on it.

Alone at Home... Whether I Want to or Not…

It’s a bit frustrating being me, I dare say. I’ve been sitting at home, wishing I was out there hanging out with Nick and the guys. Really missing it a lot. My folks would never allow me to go off to Ampang to hang out with them at Al Rosha. Nuh uh! So here I am, sitting in my room blogging as my boyfriend and his friends hang out in Al Rosha.

Some of you may think that I shouldn’t be sticking so close to my Nick and leave him some time to be with his guys, trust me, I do. But over time, I have become their friend too. You can’t really expect otherwise. Nick and I have been together for nearly 3 years now. So his friends have sort of become mine. Sometimes, I wish things could be a little different. I wish that my parents wouldn’t be so strict and let me out to do whatever I want! It’s not like I’m 5!!! I’m already more than 20 years old!

Anyhow, I think they shouldn’t have let me stay alone in the first place, in that case. Once they let me stay out in the hostels, I grew up and made a lot of my own decisions. Yes, I admit, I made a lot of stupid decisions, but I sleep in the bed I make. But the thing is I’m used to my life of independence. I’m used to doing things by myself and not having to ask for permission.

Right now, all I have is messages from Nick to let me know what’s going on and what they’re talking about. It would be nice to be there and I’d like to think that they’re all so relaxed around me that they can talk about anything. Ah well, I’ll have to wait donkey years before that can happen again.

Things Kids Say and Do (Part II)

This is what my brother told me just yesterday night.

Bert: zhe zhe ar... my friend told me to eat more long beans
Me : why ar?
Bert: cos his daddy said that if you eats loads of long beans, you grow tall...
Me : ...

how do you respond to that? anyhow, the little fella is full of weird comments and words that i swear, there are times you want to yell at him and times you just feel like laughing at him. but i think dad's super funny. i think when you have more than one kid, you tend to get a bit messed up.

Situation : dad wants me to clean my brother's room (which i obviously won't like doing)

Dad : Boy... er, bert..aiya, girl ar!!!
Me : .... you still can't get our names right eh?

it doesn't happen once in a while! it's nearly 70% of the time when he calls us to his room. it starts off with the child he sees in front of him, then realising his error, he runs through the rest of the names he calls us, ending up with all three of us in the room... hahah!

31st of Jan, End of the First Month of 2007! :o

Honestly, i think time passes really really quickly. already, february is an hour away. by the time i finish this post, i think it'll be the 1st of Feb.i don't type slow, it's just that when i blog, i do numerous other things too :P. but i digress.... hahah!

anyhow, just got back from a date with nick. nice way to end the month le! :) we went to watch epic movie. not bad, but then not the kind of money you want to spend money on la. it's just those really dumb movies full of cheap laughs. good if you're having an already good time. but for those bitter people with gloom and doom hanging over your heads, go watch something as depressing as you and paint your eyes black.

ok... my mind is flying off the handle again... but who gives a shit eh? hahah! it's my bloody blogs, if i digress, so? anyhow, i finished the embroidery i was planning to give nick for valentine's day. looking at it, it's not thaaaat nice, but i think i did a relatively good job. after valentine's i think i'll post up the pics on my hard work :P.

planning to start a new embroidery project. plan to do "faat" or "prosperity" in gold. found mum's stash of gold thread, and since she doesn't sew anymore, i'll just use it. thinking of doing it on the red cloth i found. mum's sewing basket is a sewing maniac's heaven! (i get so much fun just looking through the needles and her old patchwork projects). after all, we're talking about the woman who made mine, my brother's and her own blankets. our quilts are all product of mum's hard work. i'm never throwing my quilt away. even when i get married, i'll take it with me!

in the spirit of CNY, i took out my maroon bedclothes and now my room's got a autumn theme to it. my drapes are a soft gold colour, warm and cheery. my bedsheet's maroon, my pillow case is maroon with little green motives. my other "fat" pillow's soft brown with beige. my bolster is covered in checkered maroon cloth. very autumn-y eh? hahah! the best thing is my furniture is mostly wood. i have sarawakan vases (two white and black ones, one white, blue and brown vase).

i'm pleased with my current setting of my room and theme. i have dark blue drapes for when i have the mood for dark and gloomy. hahah! i'm really weird, i rearrange my room from time to time to see what setting's the best for my mood.

ok. this part is regarding a comment i recieved from my previous post.

i just don't understand how some women can get jealous of a car... i mean like, really... a car?!?! it's something inanimate! it can't give your bf/hubby a hug and kiss when he's all upset, now, can it?! whenever nick tells me of forummers in ZTH that are selling their "sayang"s because their wives are making noise, i wonder why. when you married the chap, you knew he was going to driving that car around everywhere. before you married the chap, i dare say he's taken you out in the damn car, now eh?

so think about it. i rather nick's obssession in cars than in chicks. i thank God for the car mags that he buys (he prefers things with substance than with chicks). i rather compete with a damn car than with another woman. as i said, there's alot of things that i can do that the car can't. nick doesn't spend so much money on me in comparison with the car, but i'm not complaining. he's got an expensive hobby, and i have a cheap one (reading, and currently, sewing).

we're both studying. i don't want pressies from nick whilst he's still getting allowance from his dad. it'll be more like i'm recieving the presents from his dad, right? logical eh? nick constantly tells me he feels that he doesn't give enough. but honestly, he's given me alot. not everyone has a boyfriend that would fly down from cheras to kiara just to comfort me. not every guy would put up with my weird moods when i'm PMS-ing. he's the one that actually notices when i'm about to get it cos he claims i have tell-tale signs in my moods and quirks. somthig about crazy and cravings...

nick lets me yabber on and on about my classic fiction, so i let him yabber about his cars. i'm not losing anything in listening to him nyam nyam about throttle bodies and intake manifolds (his lastest obsession)... he doesn't lose anything when i blab blab blab about madame bovary and her romantic conquests... people just have to work out an understanding to be happy together.

so yeah, cars? phshaw. the ke70 will not replace you in his heart. the 350z? yes, it'll capitvate him for maybe a few months, but where will he be sleeping at night? in the car mer?! and finally, so what if he got that new turbo kit, you turbo charge your sex appeal and he'll be asking you what turbo means... ;)

Hand’s OFF!!!

I’m a very jealous person. I do not like it when the attention usually showered on me is diverted to someone else. I do not appreciate my boyfriend harbouring attention on any other female than myself for more than a week. I do not like if my family were to shower my brothers with gifts much more extravagant than mine.

My mother told me that when my first brother was born, I refused to go near him. I cried and refused to be put down or leave my mother’s side. Even up till today, I harbour a sort of jealousy when I look at the close relationship between some mothers and daughters (though I myself have a close relationship with my own mum).

Now, lately, I have been unable to go out and party. I haven’t in a while and miss a good night out dancing. With my parents being back, I don’t do a lot of the things I used to do. Anyhow, that means that I don’t club anymore or go out till the early morn.

My boyfriend went out last night to Maison with his old schoolmates, which I have no problem with. The only problem I had was I wasn’t there. I know the clubbing scene very well. Girls dance seductively, cast coy looks and beer goggles do things to guys. Anyway, there was this girl that obviously has never met me or known that Nick is only allowed to dance in a particular way with me!

I like to think that I can trust Nick in a room full of naked super hot women, but if the situation does arise, I know damn well, he wouldn’t touch them unless necessary. Now, this applies to daily life. Only I’m allowed to hold him close to me, only I’m allowed to kiss him on the neck, ONLY I’M allowed to grind my hips into him when we dance close in the clubs.

Now, I won’t say who this person is, but trust me, my boyfriend tells me everything (see! I can trust him!). She rubs up against him, bumping and grinding with him!!! That’s a big no can do, darling! If I were there, I think I’d cut in and give her my bitchiest stare before showing her how it should be done! Hahah!

Nick can hold his own in many things, but as I said in an earlier post, we girls are nasty little devils in disguise. He can’t hold his own in a club against a girl dancing with him. He didn’t know how to respond to this, more or less, stranger grinding up against him. Not to mention said female knows that Hans has something for her and poor Hans was there with Nick… didn’t I say we girls are horribly manipulative?

Argh! Lucky for that nasty little thing, I wasn’t there, or else… I just keep making pathetic empty threats, don’t i? anyhow, I am seriously possessive of my boyfriend. Please don’t try my patience, girls. I really don’t tolerate these things well. I know a good thing when I see it and my boyfriend is as good as good gets. He was on the market for so long before I came into the picture. You had your chances, it’s over, so get over it and don’t come slinking around my property.

TRESPASSERS WILL BE PERSECUTED, OR SHOT ON SIGHT!

ps: i don't mean to say i hate this girl who danced with nick that way. she may not have known that he had a girlfriend, but i just found i needed to let out some of my amusement and negative vibes, k? i'm sorry if i offended anyone in particular, but it's my blog. i have the right to write what i want.

Classical Beauties...

Went with nick to a place that restores classic cars. i don't have any pictures, but the next time i do happen to go there, i will bring a camera. nick wanted to send his brand "new" ford cortina to be restored. we went there at around 2 - 3pm wandered around the compound of the building looking at the cars they had restored.

after gushing over the cars for about 30 minutes, the guys that nick had been waiting for had come. they either work, or own this company, AMC (All Makes Classic). they basically restore classic cars that they happen across or that people enlist them to. i think i have never seen so many classical cars all in a single area. not only that, they have vintages too! i think i must have looked pretty "jakun" at first, staring wide-eyed at the cars there.

anyhow, nick's planning to restore his mk3's body there. the price they quoted him was pretty reasonable too! they estimated the car would take approx. 2-3k to do up nicely. there are alot of rust spots and all that techincal mumbo jumbo that's spoilt, but then the price they quote seemed reasonable. not only that, they work at their own pace. they prefer to work on a whole car in one go rather than several cars. due to that, there were quite a few cars lined up waiting to be restored. then again, it's good, cos then you know that the work that they do wouldn't be rushed and messy.

basically, they were helpful with nick, answering his queries and stuff. but then, the job that they did with the cars there... wow! if you ever happen to be in KL and just being itchy to look at the nice nice cars (i don't know if they mind la), but the lot is next to the roundabout at Jln. Tun Razak, i think... hahah! but those are beautiful cars... really...

Sugar and Spice, and Everything NOT Nice...

Oooh! we girls are such venomous and seriously spiteful creatures. this thought popped up when i was washing my dishes today... (don't bother asking me how it comes up... i think in random stops). anyhow, my boyfriend asked me about this matter once.

for any males out there that have not felt the barb of a woman they may have spite, i warn you, we women, are not nice. we're manipulative little spitfires with minds so scary that many men would run looking into the way we think. when women began fighting for equal rights in society, we also realised that we had to think of ways to prove how capable we are. but then again,this has been evident since time in memorial!

the females in the wild have to compete with the alpha female for the males. why? the alpha female will be the ones that have the best meat and they are usually the one with stronger offspring. in many ancient civilisations, women have ruled behind their sons or husbands. they were the ones who schemed and planned whilst their husbands or sons dealt with the people directly.

in your everyday group of friends, you can observe this. there is the group of girl led by the prettiest and most dynamic female. she's usually identified with the brilliant smile and wonderfully PR personality. she's charming around the guys and usually has no problem handling men. she may be a rough and tumble girl that's "one of the guys" or she could be in the form of the "princess" that everyone turns to, with her escort of ladies in waiting.

not long ago, i was a victim of the spitefulness of the feminine world. there was a girl that the guys really enjoyed hanging out with and i had never met her before. nick was rather excited at introducing me to her cos he thought that we would hit off easily. she's not attractive physically due to her size, but her character is one with self confidence and she carries herself with the knowledge that regardless, everyone will like her. on seeing her, i couldn't really agree with what nick said, there was a certain aura about her when she looked at me that i didn't like.

when nick finally got a chance to introduce me to her, he was shocked when all she did was offer me a curt thin-lipped smile. it's normal practice for women to act this way. i do that whenever i find that my boyfriend may be offering a particular girl too much attention and i respond similarly. i'm much more subtle though... i choose get to know the girl to know if she's any threat to me (usually not).

it's survival that makes us this way. some woman makes it hard for us to be noticed, so we make it up with wit. some girls make us look bland so respond in the ability to hold an exciting conversation. to anchor herself in her boyfriends life, the first thing a girl would do is get his friends to like her presence or get used to her. that's adaptation and proper planning on my side. i planned to befriend all of the friends that matter to nick so i know the people he cares for. that way, i wouldn't face any opposition from them if i may have offended them.

guys may have their grading scheme for evaluating their best mate's girlfriend, but we girls are altogether different. we evaluate on every aspect possible. the evaluation is repeated time to time. nick doesn't know this, but if he reads this, well, darling, now you know :). it's not a scary thing. we girls just sit down and talk about our boyfriends, problems we face, how to overcome it and just discuss. through this way we usually can tell whether the guy is a keeper since true friends don't hold back on the truth... (we also discuss ways to hold their attention ;))

No Pork? Where can....

funny ass clip... RK House got no pork oh! remember!

Understanding the Male Mind

What exactly makes a man tick? i think i know only maybe half of what makes them what they are. most men strive on ego. that, no man can deny. as small or as little they bother it, if you hit them where they are egoistical about, hell will, without a doubt, break loose.

my brother is an egoistical bugger to the highest degree. he fancies himself attractive. he thinks he's physically attractive and constantly asks me if he's got big muscles or some rot like that. true, he's physically fit, but maybe because he's my brother, i find him repulsive. i don't think he's all that attractive. his eyes are too small, he's too self absorbed, and he's very irritating. then again, he's my brother.

my dad. the quirk i notice about him is music. he's obsessed with all his vinyl records. he can sit there are polish them all afternoon in a sort of endearing bliss. men have always one singular passion. in my dad, his vinyls; in my brother, his sports; my boyfriend, his cars.

the thing is men really don't know zip about women. they think all we think of is pretty flowers, perfume, pretty clothes. but honestly, we aren't. we're much deeper. we love pretty things, true, but we're very complex beings. i won't lie... we're really irritating little things. each and everyone of us are different. the only thing i dare say we all agree on is that we need to know we're loved once in a while (the more often the better).

but telling us that you love us in words isn't all that we want. we want to see it in your actions. we want to know we're on your mind. we need to feel that we matter to you. we need to know you'll miss if we go off for a holiday. my boyfriend is just like that. there isn't a day that goes by without us telling each other that we both love each other. i hate to think that we go through even one day withouth letting each other how we feel for each other.

most people may think i'm a sap but that's how i am. and i'm glad that i found a guy that knows more or less how i think. i'm not saying i have the perfect relationship. there are times, trust me, that i feel like smacking the silly git across the head. he's not perfect, but he tries, and i thank him for that.

I Miss So Much...

i think we don't realise how much things mean to us until it's gone. just the other night, i was talking to my best friend online about all the things we miss. both of us are missing our boyfriends... but the thing that we talked about most was our college life.

hanging around with guys so much can take a toll sometimes. when i was in college, i had my housemates and roomies to laugh and just be all girly with. we had so much fun. i think i had the best fun staying in My Place Apartments when i was in college.

we had the noisiest and most fun unit. we girls used to hang out on the balcony, sipping on milo talking into the night. we had our occasional drinking parties where we'd drink till we dropped, filmed each other trying to walk straight... it was so fun. other than just being plain stupid, we had a ritual every semester. after every major exam, we'd sit on the balcony, and burn all the scrap paper that we had used.

now, i uni, i don't have that fun anymore. things became so much different. i missed the laid back attitude we had. i miss the silly things we did, i miss prancing in the apartment, dancing to my favorite songs with my roomie and housemate. i miss teasing the boys in the other apartment. i miss playing with the cat from the apartment downstairs. i miss just looking out at the night sky whilst sitting on the balcony.

we don't really know what we have till it goes away. i doubt i'd have the chance for that ever again. the next time i stay alone, i doubt that i would have a balcony i can sip hot chocolate while just staring at the sky. i highly doubt any apartment i stay in would allow me to light tealights along my window sill as i sing at the top of my lungs to the open night sky. i doubt i would have to chance to stay with my best friend in the same apartment again.

we live a life full of wishes. i wish to be able to have that kind of happiness, that carefree feeling i had staying in Subang. there were bad memories, no doubt, but i miss the good times. and the nicest thing about it was i had the best times when i was with my girls...

Data Entry... to do or not to do... :O

honestly... i thought after being a promoter, finding part time work in the office or in data entry for the matter would be ok and life would be peachy. thing is, i smell a rat in this upcoming job application. thinking about it, i summerize it to the guy that was "interviewing" my brother and i. apparently, somewhere in the fine print in lala-land, the company was a "hired-HR" in a manner of speaking. so in a nutshell, we have to pay them once we get a job from them and we want it. bloody hell le...and not to say that it's a little payment. it's freaking $160!!! and from two people, myself and my bro, it would mean alot...

so thinking of working with chern lin's mum. she's got data entry to do too :P i think 55 bucks a day or some rot. either way, no in between fee. so more profit! :P i'm such a chinese!

Sick and Miserable...

starting to hate my job more and more... i'll having a bad cold. planning to sleep soon. most of the people i've made friends with at work have either quit or planning to. dying la.

Work work...

i've been working for the past few weeks of the hols. after sitting around at home, bored till my brains nearly melted, i got me a job as a promoter. it's an ok job, nothing fancy. no special benefits. just fills my otherwise empty time. anyhow, it also consumes large quantities of my energy! hahah! usually, i end up coming home at 11pm, shower then sleep. just really tiring.

good things about this job? my colleagues. i got the chance to meet really swell ppl. though most are pretty much younger than me, i think they're good company. most of the girls are 16 whereas the two guys i work with are 20 and 22. nice people... now, these ppl are the promoters i work with. me, i'm a cashier with the 22 year young guy. both of us spend alot of time with our supervisor who really is something.

now, my supervisor is the epitome of mood swings. she can be the nicest person in the world at times, and the ultimate bitch the next second. both myself and my co-cashier (let's call him A) have gotten scolding from him. i have been told off for my dress code. for those that know me... you know how my t-shirts are. and i know i'm not obscene. i'm sorry, but none of my t-shirts are veyr long. they're all just at my navel. i like them that way cos i think i have a relatively flat tummy. anyhoo... i've also been told that my hair's a mess (when it isn't). it irritates me to no end. not only that, we work OT most of the time and don't get paid extra! (not fair, but alas...) well, A on the other hand, being the only other guy worth talking to (the other one, my supervisor doesn't really like...) spends more time with my single and very much available supervisor. downfall? when she's sore with him, he gets it worse than me.

she scolds A when he talks to the other female promoters. warns him to "not talk to" the other promoter who sells (... i can't say... or it'll be too obvious where i work, not that i'm ashamed, just that the retail i work for is big and i don't want to get sued) another company's stuff because "she's already got a boyfriend and she's not good news". wth? but when she's nice to him, oh goodness... it's like she's got a crush on the poor lad... hahah! ah well, early morning shift tomorrow so i have to go to bed now... toodles! :P

Things Kids Say and Do...

this blog today is just about the funny things that we used to do as kids and basically what kids do when they haven't been exposed to the evil evil world. where boys can get girl germs and girls think boys have cooties :P

Story Number 1 :

Daddy was from a moderate family and it was the early 60s. he had just started his first day at school and he bravely marched to school with his elder brothers. sitting down smartly, he told himself he was a big boy and could take care of himself, which of course he did. it was also a good thing that school was just behind home so he could go home real quick when he was done. finally, after a couple of hours sitting at his little wooden desk, the bell rang and all the kids got up to rush out to play. now, my dear daddy didn't go to kindergarten before and was very unfamiliar with the whole school thing. so picking up his little bag, he marched on home. walking into the kitchen, he saw my grandmother cooking.

"hi mamma"
"son, what are you doing here? school finished early?" my grandma looked up at dad with a confused look. where were her elder boys. and she was pretty sure that school wasn't out for a few more hours.

it then dawned to my daddy that the bell had rung, not for going home, but for recess. so like the little soldier he was, he picked up his little bag, marched back to school, and slid into his seat, just as the bell for the end of recess rang.

when my father told us that story, we all started laughing our heads off. dad looked around rather sheepishly, but i think dad turned out pretty ok for a guy that walked home during recess on his first day of school... hahah!

Story Number 2:

Now, I'm the type of girl that can never remember when i should be having my period. yes, stating this may be crude to some of you out there, so screw you. hahah! anyhow, i was starting it and i was sadly, travelling in the car. so i announced to my parents i thought i was having period. now, my youngest brother, Egbert, aged 9, not familiar with the female anatomy asked me what period was.

"zhe zhe, what's period?"
"it's something that makes me have a really bad stomach ache,"
"like needing to do number 2 real bad?"
"yeah, something like that,"
"oh, ok. i think i'm having period too, then..."

it made me laugh at the time, which i think he'll sorely regret saying so some 3 - 4 years down the road. hahah!

Story Number 3:

Scenario: dinner time and everyone is chatting happily at the table

Bert : zhe zhe, what's playboy?

*conversation ceases. all eyes swing to the youngest child and me. my parents wait with abated breath wondering how i'd explain it.*

Me : It's a... it's a... er, why do you ask?
Bert : cos i saw it just now...
Me : Ok... where did you see it?
Bert : oh, a man in the lift had it. remember daddy?

*dad looks freaked out, like "don't look at me!"*

Des : yeah, like dad'll say anything about that (dad glares at des)
Mum: hmm... i've never actually seen one of those... (almost wistfully)
Me : wait, didn't uncle @+_*& bring some back from US?
Mum: oh, those? your grandpa took them and hid them once he saw them. i bet if you rummage through his cupboard, it's still there...

Me : Wait, Bert, where did you see this Playboy? was it a magazine?
Bert : No... it was on his shirt!

i think that boy's the death of me! i swear!

Myriad of Events... A rollerscoaster life...

life in a nutshell:
UNPREDICTABLE!!!!

No, really. looking back, i would not have thought i would have to move back to my home come the end of the year. looking back, i would never thought that i would have a "fairy tale" relationship with a wonderful guy (albeit, he ain't a prince, but i preferred the knights better) who is really, in more ways than one, a knight in not-so-shiny armour. hahah! did i mention he has a dark green, roaring, stead?

who would have thought my brother would be joining me in monash? who would have forseen that uni has just flown by? next year, i'll be entering my third year. next year, will be the last year of my undergrad uni life (not including honours). next year, will be one of the last years i have with the friends i've made in uni. wonder what it'll be like...

did i mention that i have put the kitten in PAWS already? i was really sad that day. but i haven't gone back to see her since. haven't had the time. i think she should be eligible for adoption by now. hopefully she gets a good home. she's so used to human interaction that she'll fit in immediately. the pic to the right is one of the pictures i took of her before we left for PAWS. she's beautiful isn't she? a bit fiesty but loving. by the way, in this pic, she's playing with her tail. she likes snuggling up when taking her naps. she loves chicken sausages with cheese! and is really smart! :)

exams nest week. headache le. time is flying by waaaay too fast for my liking. ah well, i think 10 years down the road, i'll be looking back and thinking how time has flown. i should be married (i hope) and expecting a child if now having one. hahah! then again, life is just too unpredictable...

Sad... sigh...

my roommate took a kitten back to my room a couple of months back. now, the hostel management has caught wind of the kitten staying there. they want to throw the poor thing out... honestly, i'm feeling down right miserable cos i really care about that kitten... sigh! i was just thinking of me having to put the kitten in PAWS... she'll be safe there... but will she remember me and my roomie? will she feel betrayed cos we 'abandoned' her?

i'm also feeling pretty peeved at my stupid roommate. this problem would never have happened if she had just left the kitten with it's mum... stupid stupid stupid... honestly, this is unnecessary stress for me la... sigh! i don't think she could give a shit about the kitten. when i told her about the hostel wanting to throw the kitten out, she didn't give much a reaction. i couldn't hear any sadness in her voice... "i think better if i give her away also la. she's very lonely in the room i think..." WTF?!?! i mean like, here i am, feeling so sad that the kitten wouldn't be the first thing i see on entering my room, that i won't have an adorable ball of fur to cuddle with when i nap in the afternoon. she couldn't give a rat's ass about the kitten...

proof? fine, just the other day, she lost her keys... and i so happened to have gone home that day. so for the whole day, poor kitty had nothing to eat but the little bit of cat food and 1 and a half sausage i fed her from earlier... for a freaking whole day!!! that's so irresponsible. she could have told the hostel people that she left her keys in the room then borrowed the spare, then go back to the management room to return the spares... like really wtf... sigh! another example... if we have classes from 9 - 5 in uni, she just comes in at 12 to feed the cat, then leaves, or sometimes, doesn't at all... she's an irresponsible owner... i don't know if she does that because she knows i come in during lunch to have my meals in the room then feed the kitten at the same time or what la... but why la...

in a way, having to give the kitten away is good for her, but then sigh... my classmate had wanted to adopt the whole family when we first found the kittens... it was a family of two kittens, and the mum. but my roommate just had to go take the kitten away... grr... now the kitten has to go to a animal rescue... aiyah... don't know what to think la. maybe it was my wrong to not tell her the inhumane conditions she had given to the kitten when we kept her... i really don't know la.

i'm just going to sit here tonight, waiting for confirmations from anyone if they want the kitten. :( sadly, i can't hold onto the kitten for very long... or i would, to try find a good home for her...

Of Cats, Food and Shit

today i have had the most crazy day. a flurry of emotions and ladida... my room mate's stupid kitten, as cute as it is, is just plain evil. don't get me wrong, i like animals, all. i admit, i prefer dogs... but cats i can bear. but this specific epitome of evil is really... argh! just to give you a vague idea, the little monster has chewed up my laptop box (has all the recovery driver cds and stuff), scratched my hands and arms, bites me, and pooped on my bed!!!! not once! but some freaking 3 times!!! wtf!!! going to drown the damn thing, if it wasn't so cute la...

ok, now to the nice part of my day... tried Itallianis today!!! woot! hahah! and i didn't have to pay for my meal!!! my dear rocks man! heheh! he ment to suprise me by taking me there, but some fella... you know who you are... blurted out nick's plan when i went to meet him in the student lounge... so yeah, we went there. but suuuuch goood shittttte... heheh! really good

we had a starter and a main course. the servings are huge man!!! but nice! heheh! they had this complementary bread and you eat it with olive oil and some sour black sauce... if anyone knows what it is, please tell me! the starter was a spinach and artichoke heart formaggio cheese something served with garlic bread. good stuff. the food was very fragrant!!! i think it was a good choice as a starter. got nick and i eager to eat something else.

our lunch was meatballs and spaghetti. ok, for those that haven't eaten there, the meatballs are HUGE!!! imagine a buffallo's balls... yeah that big! but then i doubt they use that. hahah! anyway, the spaghetti was soooo good. both of us shared the meal and honestly, it was enough to make both of us feel very full! the food was good, but then the thing that made me most taken to is the amount of herbs they used. i'm a person that loves to have lots of herbs in their spaghetti (obviously relevant ones la!) and the aroma was just lovely!

anyhow, the ambience in the restaurant was nice too. old music was piped in, polite waiters, nice decor. very pleasing, overall. i did notice however, as i was walking out, the chef picking his nose... the only thing i can say is that i don't plan to eat there anytime soon, so forget it la... hahah! if you're wondering how much our drinks amounted to? well, for me and nick, RM82.10, plus tax. so not bad la. heheh...

if you have nothing nice to say, don't

Mad mad mad... (not furious...)

i don't know what to think of myself... i know that my site gets very little traffic, thus making it a little ok for me to let some things out... so basically, what's got my knickers in a twist is the small doubt about myself, that i just may not be as liked as i thought. i have friends, but the feeling's different from having close friends. i have a few that i can confide in and a few that are just purely for fun. but then there's something missing... i just don't know what.

i have a good relationship with my bf, though at times, i really want to kill him. i have a good relationship with my best friend, i know, no matter what, i can depend on her. i have good relationships with my uni classmates, i can hang out with them and really laugh and have fun. but other than that, i still feel like i have something out of place, especially when i hang out with my uni mates. there's a companionship that they have that i can't seem to acheive. could it be cos i spend nearly all my time with my bf? i seriously don't think so.

my bf, thanks to him, i have close friends in engineering, when i think about it, i'd like to have that many friends in biotech too. complaining about cellular structures and a mutated bacterium to an engineer is like explaining the formulas of thermodynamics to pure art student. they just stare blankly at me! but the thing is, spending so much time with them, i understand the concepts of engineering... sigh!

my best friend? i don't see much of her nowadays... don't ask me why. i think it may be due to our timetables being so different, or that we have just settled into uni, finding our own groups pf friends. a friendship as old as ours may be strong, but as with all strong things, its brittle is left unattended to. we both have our own lives, and i honestly can feel us drifting apart.... sigh! somehow, i don't feel the urgency i thought i would have felt if i knew we were drifting apart. its as if we both knew this would happen.

i'm going to end this on this low note... depressing to think about it la...