Cheating?

I realised that things have been changing quite a bit. It sometimes feels like I'm still very much asleep and all I've been doing is sleep-walking around my life. I have everything that I could possibly need. I have people that love me, great and caring friends and a job. I have a home, a place to sleep, eat, rest and unwind after a long and hard day at work or generally after a tough time.

 

I've also realised that I didn't notice that the world was shifting all around me. Things that I never expected to happen have happened. Things that I never dreamed would occur are starting to unravel and spread their shit all over. I need to get some things back into focus and try to realise what I want in life. I'm no longer 18, as much as I'd love to go back to that age.

 

I miss my best friend desperately. Hopefully we can make it tomorrow night and I won't be disappointed by a cancellation of the plans. I really feel that I need this time with her. It's been a while since I had proper female-no-hold-back conversations. Not to mention there is just so much gossip that I need to catch up with her.

 

There are also the things that have gotten me thinking. I've been having rather amusing conversations with my carpool buddy on the way home from work nearly every day. Today's topic is a huge medley of random things, ranging from sick perverts and cheating boyfriends. That really got me thinking. What would I do if I was cheated on, again? Would I ever cheat on my boyfriend? I can't imagine doing so. I believe in "all or nothing", so I can't imagine being a cheater. This comes to the part where I wonder what encompasses cheating.

 

Does cheating only happen when you start something with the "other guy" or when you start looking around at other people? I think maybe it's too subjective. I think I'll do a little survey to see what exactly people think cheating is. I think, in my case, its fine to look and all, but never act on the thoughts and it's fine. Once you act on it, you better save the other party a world of hurt and end things.

 

Though an amusing thought just popped up as I'm writing this... if Nick reads this, he'll think all sorts of things. Silly boy, it's all or nothing. So I'm not cheating on you, or thinking of doing so!