Changes...

Things will be changing. It's not because I'm psychic. It's just because I know. I'm seeing the changes happening, I'm aware of them. Despite it all, I'm not willing to have those changes just happen to me. I hate things changing drastically. It's not that I can't handle it. I just like certain things as they are. In some ways, the changes that are happening are for the better for some of us, but in my own selfish way, I wish it wouldn't happen.

 

After the change happens, I know there will be a void. That void will be very hard to fill, but it will be filled slowly but surely. I will miss the fun and amusement that came before the change, but I will embrace the new changes and learn to love them. It's due to a smaller change that occurred earlier in the year that I realised that I need to face some issues about myself.

 

A change upsets the equilibrium, the balance and harmony that I like to have. Changes make me unsettled and unsure for a while. Changes make me wary and careful. Some changes I embrace whole heartedly. Some changes, I watch warily and try to rebuild things around it. Eventually, I adapt and absorb the changes and harmony, equilibrium and balance is back.

 

This new change that is coming has me feeling sad, unwilling, and desperately trying to cling onto the remaining vestiges of the normalcy and harmony that is already there. This new change has made me start thinking. This new change will most definitely be felt by everyone. The void will be there, obvious, sucking me in, making me overly aware of it. This change will make me take the reins for a while. This change may be good for me, or not.

 

I have not voiced my thoughts out openly about this pending change. I'm afraid of sounding selfish, childish, petty, and stupid. I don't want my thoughts to affect the change and spoil the harmony I'm soaking up before the change occurs. Anything that attempts or messes this fragile balance makes me worried. I want this change to happen smoothly with only good feelings for the change to occur. I want this change to be for the better.

 

I don't know if the others feel as strongly as I do. With the impending change, I want to hold onto these precious moments. I'm trying hard not to get agitated with the changes.

 

I have resigned myself. I have weighed all the possibilities. I have spent too much time thinking of it. I am accepting this change...